Moments

A version of this article first appeared a few years ago on a previous incarnation of our website. A recent workshop suggested to me that its message is still potentially of use to some people. I hope that is the case. Tony

Between us, businesses spend a tremendous amount of time and money developing managers and leaders. Much of that time and money is well worth it. It’s investment in your business, not cost.

If you search Amazon UK for “leadership” you find >60,000 hits in the Books section alone. “Management” leads to >100,000. That is a significant total of words on the subjects.

Many of these books will be insightful. Many will also lie around unread and never acted upon. Some are probably not worthy of your expenditure.

 As organisations grapple with the Sisyphean task of ensuring the best specialists become adept people managers and leaders, what would be the best and simplest advice that might deliver results?

Apart from “choose the most adept potential manager or leader not merely the strongest specialist or technician in the team”, I land upon an answer which isn’t discussed often enough:

Prepare people for moments of truth.

When the heat is on, when something unwelcome happens, when there is a diversion from the planned agenda what do your managers do? And, my point here, what are literally the first words that come out of their mouths?

So when a team-member says “I am pregnant” are the first words “Oh no….that’s all I need” or silence? Or does your manager know what to say? Those first words could set the tone for the remainder of that working relationship. (By the way: try to avoid initially saying ”congratulations”. It isn’t always good news for all sorts of possible reasons. I learned that the hard way as a young HR manager.)

“I am resigning”: is the reply “You fool – what are you doing that for?” or “We don’t want to lose you – so if you do go it is with our best wishes and we would like you to come back one day”. 

“I have cancer”: is it something authentic and human such as “Shit – that’s shocking news” or maybe “I really don’t know what to say but I want you to know I will do all I can to support you”? Or does the Manager mess it up with “I’ll just check our sickness policy”. 

“I’ve made a mistake”:  is it “you idiot – what were you thinking of?” or “don’t worry – let’s sort things out together and maybe at a later date we discuss what happened and what we can learn from it.”

 As I repeatedly say – as a manager and/or leader you set the tone, you create the culture of the organisation.

So are you and your managers reacting well in these moments of truth? Or are you damaging relationships and morale with your very first words?