Deconstruction?

It’s completely OK, as I’ve said before, if people are a bit unsure about coaching as their development option. It does not upset us at Chelsham if a potential coachee confesses to a level of uncertainty or even cynicism.

To be so open is welcome in fact. It’s data. We can work with it. We can look to understand where it comes from. We enjoy grappling with root causes and exploring together. We coach people; this quality of engagement helps us. 

And quite often the hesitation is rooted in misunderstanding about what coaching is and is not. 

Therefore here’s another in our series of blogs which we hope will generate greater awareness of the art of coaching and was prompted by a really interesting comment from a senior player with whom we’ve been working. I’ll call them Jo which isn’t their real name.

The context: Jo wanted to share that they were feeling a bit cynical about coaching however it had been strongly suggested as a way of building on their strengths and developing as a more senior leader. Jo was interested to find that this comment did not upset me. To the contrary … ”OK let’s talk that through”.

And talk it through we did. They became a coachee. A really interesting person with whom to work.

One year on Jo has just asked to add on a few extra sessions as “it has been so invaluable”. The sponsor for our work has “seen the impact the coaching has had”.

 The interesting comment: “I’m glad it wasn’t a deconstruction and rebuild. That it isn’t therapy. That it’s about building on my success and focusing where I want to focus in order to succeed in future.” 

I’ve been thinking deeply about that. Deconstruction. Rebuild. Not therapy. 

Clearly as a profession we have work to do on explaining what we do, where it starts and where it ends. 

Jo had thought that a coach would be looking to “knock me down and build me up again”. They’d thought that coaching equals therapy. This is the impression that they had of the coaching world. 

They had not realised, until they experienced it, that in coaching the goal (their goal) is key and we find ways of navigating over, under, around or through barriers and interference. We grapple with “what’s getting in the way” of future development and success. And what might enable it.

Coaching can be challenging if that serves the player’s objectives, so discomfort may be part of the process. Contrast this with therapy or counselling where the journey is key, the goal is often healing and the environment will possibly be designed to create a sense of comfort.

In coaching we build on “what is right” without a presumption that “something is wrong” (in fact very often nothing is wrong).  We are enhancing success; unlocking those extra few percentage points; bolstering and reinforcing talented people.

In therapy people may be off-balance in some way. If someone is in a less well-functioning state then the different skills of a psychiatrist or psychotherapist are needed in order to ensure reactions are managed and contained. Coaching, whilst supportive as well as challenging, does not need to be contained in quite the same way.

I could go on but I think the point is made.

I need to be better, we need to be better, at explaining what coaching is not as well as what it is. This short blog hopefully makes a contribution towards that. 

No deconstruction, and therefore no rebuilding, at play. Promise.